


Are you kidding me?

by ONeillwith2ls



Series: Fictober20 [24]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:14:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27175055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ONeillwith2ls/pseuds/ONeillwith2ls
Summary: It's a Halloween and Janet got to pick the costumes.
Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Carter/Jack O'Neill
Series: Fictober20 [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947181
Comments: 14
Kudos: 49





	Are you kidding me?

I want to say this takes place in early season 4 but inside my head it seems to be playing at season 2-- Early on, when Sam at least suspects her own feelings and Jack is flirting with her.

Sam called out from the bathroom. “Are you kidding me?!” she exclaimed.

Janet tried to suppress a chuckle as Cassie didn’t even try. “What’s up, Sam?” 

Sam opened the door to the bathroom and had it not been for the less than impressed look on her face although no one would be looking at it. “Janet, I can’t wear this. This is not a Hallowe’en costume!” she proclaimed. “It's barely a costume at all. It's barely covering me at all!” she complained.

Janet looked her up and down and smirked, trying not to chuckle. “It’s only BDU’s, Sam.”

“In a porno film maybe--” she muttered so Cassie wouldn’t hear. 

The BDU’s were nowhere near standard issue. The cameo material was a romper jumpsuit with hot pants and the zip only came up as far as her sternum with a belt which looked like fake ammo as part of the design of the belt. Her legs were sheathed with some fishnet stockings which were barely needed because of the thigh high shiny black high heeled boots.

“I don’t even know where I’m supposed to put this--!” she waved around what was meant to be the drop holster.

Janet chuckled “You wear it like a garter, Sam.” she said. Sam looked at her friend horrified. 

“That’s-- that’s--”

“Suggestive, sexy--”

“This…  _ this _ is the reason why men don’t take us seriously. This is what they want us to look like, Janet, so they can objectify us!” she objected.

“Sam, you’re taking yourself too seriously-- I’m wearing a sexy nurse’s uniform--”

“Don’t you feel demeaned?” Sam asked her.

“I feel hot, and you look it!” Janet remarked.

“Janet, I have to face those men tomorrow.”

“Sam, this is a Hallowe’en party, not a dress down. They’ll just admire you even more. Come on, let me do your makeup.”

* * *

Daniel walked up to Jack. “You were meant to dress up.” 

“I’m the second in command of this base. I think that's scary enough.” He said, looking at Daniel’s Dracula costume for a moment and shook his head, bemused. 

“Come on, Jack, even Teal’c joined in.” Daniel remarked, pointing over to still standing and serious looking Teal’c.

“He looks exactly the same.” Jack said.

“Yeah, he said as children they were taught if they misbehaved, they would turn to stone, apparently he’s acting it out--Whoa!” he exclaimed, looking at the two women who walked into the room. 

Jack followed Daniel’s eyeline until it hit the two women standing at the entrance and his eyes almost popped out of his head! As if Janet didn’t look hot enough, there stood a Samantha Carter, desecrating the BDUs -- in the hottest way possible! He didn’t think he would ever be able to unsee this! He tried diverting his eyes, but all he could see were the men shamelessly gawking at her as she approached the bar, not taking a seat. He was annoyed not only at himself but at every man in the room for staring at her like that! He honestly didn’t know what to do, so he looked to Janet as she came up to them.

“Hello boys!” She sounded suggestively.

“Janet,” Daniel smiled “You look amazing.” 

“Thanks, Daniel.” She replied, as she did a 360-degree spin in front of him. 

“So does Sam.” Daniel remarked.

“Try telling her that.” Janet told them.

“What do you mean?” Jack asked “Didn’t she pick--”

“No, it was me.” Janet replied. “I told her I’d pick out our Hallowe’en outfits and I thought it would be funny. Her? Not so much.”

Jack sighed, knowing what must be running through Sam’s head as she downed five consecutive shots of vodka. “Janet? Is that the first alcohol of the evening?” he asked her, a concerned look came over his face.

“No, she drank almost a whole bottle of wine while getting ready.” Janet shrugged. “I thought alcohol didn’t affect her.” She remarked.

Jack rolled his eyes. “Beer doesn’t. Wine makes her tipsy.Vodka--” He told her as he watched her as she downed the last shot of vodka and apparently asked the bartender for more. “Oh hell--” he said before he walked off towards her. Any man who was thinking of approaching Sam immediately rejected the idea as they saw the Colonel crossing the room. His destination was obvious.

Daniel shrugged at Janet then offered to dance with her.

Jack stood behind Sam then said loudly so she could her over the music. “What’cha doing there, Carter?” he asked her.

She turned and looked at Jack for a moment before she turned back to the barman as Jack used his body to block the curious glances of other partygoers.

“Me? Oh nothing, just accepting my inevitable fate.” she said slowly with a slight slur to her voice. “Everyone saw me so I might as well accept it. I won’t ever be taken seriously, by anyone, ever. All I’ll be is a hot tottie, arm candy--”

He started to chuckle beside her.

“Oh, laugh all you like, sir, but who could take me seriously now, I mean look at me?!” she complained, but all he could see was her smoking hot figure in a costume clinging in all the right places. “Janet said I shouldn’t take myself so seriously, so I’ll just let everyone objectify me and never respect any of my work ever again, just so I can dress like the pornographic version of a military officer--” 

His brow knotted worrying about the way she was talking. It was obvious she really  _ really _ hated what she was wearing. He looked down at his own unchanged BDU’s and without thinking about it, he took off the very loose shirt from it and offered it to her. She looked at the shirt then up at him before she stepped up and put it on. When she turned to face him, his hands reached out and buttoned up the front for her. The shirt came to the top of her boots so hid the costume at least and he looked down at his badge reading “O’Neill” then the insignia of his rank on the collar. 

“Suits you.” He smiled at her before he took her by the hand and led her to the dance floor. He didn’t even notice the crowd parting around them and allowing them to cross the room with ease. He wrapped one hand against her waist and the other grasped her hand in one hand and held them against his chest. They danced for a moment or two as he held her a little closer than he should. He leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Now, do you think anyone won’t take you seriously?” he asked her. “You’re a Colonel with my name.” he smirked.

“Will you ever take me seriously again, sir?” she asked him, worried about the impression she had unwillingly projected to him.

“Are you kidding me?” He pulled back slightly and raised her chin with their joined hands so he could look into her eyes. “If someone has been in a room with you for more than two minutes and doesn’t take you seriously then they’re fools and they deserve whatever it is you have to throw at them.”

She looked down as if disappointed before she shyly asked. “So, you didn’t find it sexy?” 

“Again--” he said, a smirk at his lips “Are you kidding me?” He grinned for a second to see her blush. Knowing Sam, he said softly asked, “But it didn’t make you feel it, did it?”

“No, sir.” She said, shaking her head slightly in disappointment.

He swallowed then looked at her again before drawing her body closer into an almost hug. “You know, there once was a captain who made one hell of a first impression. She walked in to the conference room with a chip on her shoulder and a cut crap attitude and do you want to know all I could think of?” he asked her.

“No?” she replied.

“I thought -- I wasn’t used to something so smart coming out of someone so--”

“So what?” she interrupted looking annoyed at him.

“Hot.” he said with a grin on his face.

“R-Really?” she questioned with a swallow. 

“Yeah.” he nodded.

They continued to dance in silence until the end of the song where he whispered to her, “Some men think a smart, assured woman is sexy as hell. It wouldn’t matter what you wore, you’d still be beautiful and sexy as hell.” He stepped back and smoothed the name tag for a moment before he whispered again. “It suits you.” Then with a grin across his face, he raises two fingers on his right hand to his temple (as a salute) and says “Colonel” before scurrying away.

She felt her stomach do a flip and her heart race. She lifted the shirt slightly and smelled the inside of the collar which still smelled of him. She smiled a little and wrapped her arms around her stomach hugging the shirt to her.

She resented the thought for a moment, she shouldn’t need a man’s approval to feel better about herself, but there was something so unassuming about Jack, something so different!

That it got her to thinking--Maybe this costume wasn’t so bad after all.


End file.
